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格林威治标准时间11:56独自等待----你身边那些溜走的人 |
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November 05 修路据说来了位新市长,到处在修路。南京城上空笼罩一层灰蒙蒙的尘土,房间里一天不打扫也是一层的灰。 昨天加班,走的有些晚,中山南路的路口被挖的班驳不平,踩上去硬硬的,加上冷空气,恍惚间回到15年前的老家,冬天的时候,特别是初冬的雪后,白天雪会化掉一些,晚上就结起了冰,路就变得不平了,路灯也是昏暗的,北方的老城市的路灯也许跟城市本身的年龄相仿佛。上完晚息习9点左右吧,跟现在加班回去的时间差不多……轮回啊。 不同的城市 October 18 秋天和春天的困惑---最近自己情绪波动很大,静下来看了些书,突然对“男人悲秋,女人伤春…”这种说法有所感悟。不管是上帝之手的安排,还是进化论的选择,男人选择了狩猎,女人选择了采集。春天的时候,万物复苏,但也是青黄不接,采集到的也只有野菜,女人们看着家里人天天吃野菜,心情自然焦虑,而男人责可以轻松的打到冬眠后苏醒的动物。同样到了秋天,谷物收获,动物却开始迁徙,男人们整天空着双手回来,在家里的地位自然一落千丈,叹几口气也就难免了。相对于现代人五千年的文明而言,也许这种上百万年的春耕秋狩已经在我们的基因中留下了印记,那么看看身边的男男女女们,有时会不会得到印证呢? October 12 写在验房后期待了一年,终于拿到了房子,记录一下经过吧,免得以后想不起来…… 第一批交付的已经入住了一些,的装修和配置也高一些。据说有些吵,黄山路好像在修路的样子,来来往往都是大货车,有点失望,不像一年前来这边看房子时那么安静了。 万科的物业确实比较赞,服务很到位,至少第一印象是那种管理很严格的,没门卡的话,虽然很客气,但就是不让你进。也是因为要验房了,最近去小区的论坛看的比较多,称赞的都是物业,投诉的大多是小区的规划和周边的配置,不过我觉得这真是无聊,您当年买房子时怎么没仔细想想这些问题呢,配套设施是整个奥体的事儿,小区规划是当时卖房子时就定下来的,还是老老实实住下来算了。不过有一点倒是比较中肯,小区的南门,真的是太太太丑了。 交付大使是个跟我年纪差不多的人(估计差不多,因为我现在真不知道我给别人的印象是多大),跟万科物业的其他员工一样,比较热情,给人的感觉也挺中肯,很容易沟通的那种,约好了10点去看房,他9点50就打了个电话跟我确认,额……当时我正在刮胡子。约了小鸡同学去帮我瞅瞅,很好,他一直睡到12点才跟SX同学出现…… 由于还有两栋正在装修,小区被分割成了好几块,本来直接可以从西门到达的,结果我们从会所出来绕了整个小区一大圈,才到房子面前。绿化没什么亮点,但也没什么缺点,感觉中矩中规的。基本没有地上停车位,这一点我比较喜欢,咱是无车族,要是整天在一堆好车中间钻来钻去……话说进门前看到路边停的X5和甲壳虫…… 楼前挂了两串红灯笼,还真有点乔迁新居的感觉,楼道里还是有很多装修材料的,1楼等电梯的时候,还不时传来装修工人跟包工头的争吵,看来他们现在也是做完一户交付一户。所说已经有人搬进来了,看来还真能忍受这噪音。当然我也就打消了马上入住的念头。两梯四户的设计还是不错的,当然如果一梯一户就更好了……,房间收拾的还算整洁,但跟当时样板间略有出入,鞋架的改动比较大,进门感觉设计有些简单。墙面的颜色比较柔和,配合红棕色的地板,给人感觉很舒服,也许是光线的原因吧,记得当天看样板时,感觉装修的颜色是有些老气的,色调也是偏冷色系……看来看房子还真得挑时间挑天气、挑光线、挑楼层、挑…… 本来想随便看看之后再请个验房师好好验一下,结果发现没啥可看的,一来物业的人拿了个清单一项一项认真给我讲了一遍又查了一遍,另一方面,与自己第一套房子相比,整体的装修和服务水平高很多,所以比较满意,想了想,叫物业把几个明显的地方处理了一下之后,就签字收房子了。拿到钥匙时略有感慨,本来想大发感慨,结果还是没感慨得起来。 October 09 最后一个…难说这是生性懒惰,也难说是在等待什么。现实是,我成了最后一个…… 小鸡同学终于宣布要结婚了,哥儿几个都长长出了口气,还好他这次恋爱没变成又一次长征。猛然间发现,我成了最后一个。单身傻老爷们儿从显眼,变得有些刺眼,终于现在碍眼了。 婚姻到底是什么,这两年玩的太多,加的班也太多,仔细想来,已经没有那份激情,就像心情上写的那些,到了这个年纪,婚姻就成了一份责任了,对社会的,对家族的。 年轻时看多了《台北爱情故事》有时会觉得我就是少青,她就是兰。但现实是一个已经认真的离开,而另一个也不再挽留。尝试开始新的生活,却发现已离开社会主流太远太远。都说是90后非主流,我这伪80后也“非”这么一下? 不再犹豫,也许别人看来是绝路,我也能踏出一片生天。 July 20 乔布斯斯坦福大学演讲Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5?? deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now. This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much. |
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